cinderlea | (no subject)

[god. Isa rests her head on Lea's shoulder and sighs. she's alright with just knowing that some version of herself is with the kids, somewhere (no she's not, but she won't admit it for ages), but she knows Lea's going to be pretty fucked up over it. this place is great, but also it sucks sometimes.]

Did you at least get the couple of weeks with them that I got?

[ She'll be fine, she'll just internalize it like she does every other problem and try to find a way to fix it. Maybe? ]

Yeah, I did. It was great. Even better with us all there.

[ There's a pause, but— ]

I never thought I'd see you getting along with either of them.

I didn't either. I was so horrible to both of them, purely because you made friends with them so easily. They didn't deserve it and neither did you, and they would've been justified if they didn't want me around. Xion especially.

[but god is she grateful. she'd been missing out that whole time due to her own stubbornness and spite, but whatever, someone had to keep up appearances and keep all those plates spinning properly anyway.]

Well. Xion never got to kick your ass like Roxas.

[ Just saying. Lea's leaning against the couch staring off into space, andshe's down, but she's already becoming pretty resigned about it. She's not new to the dressing room, after all. ]

So, Twilight Town?

And I've never been more grateful for Roxas kicking my ass, believe me. What about Twilight Town?

[gonna rub ur back, friend. no one likes a sad Lea, but especially not Isa. :( ]

Living there. It's just not what I expected to happen. Like, ever, obviously. Although, until you showed up I was pretty sure I wasn't ever going to see any of you again, except like... maybe here. Versions of you.

[ Which is not even remotely close to being the same, as they all know. ]

I wish I could've told you about them before you disappeared from here, but it's probably for the best. I would've had to carry you here in a bucket if I had, you'd be a total lost cause. But I know what you mean, the whole idea of the four of us living together is pretty surreal. Just... doing things that normal people do, every day.

[Isa understands, completely. she misses them too, though not nearly as much as she missed Lea. neither of them had time to adjust to it, which is probably also for the best.]

No, you're right. If I had remembered it clearly I would've fucked everything up. I forgot about most of this place, but y'know.

[ She sounds salty about it, but she's actually okay with it. It's probably a sign that if she had remembered everything clearly she actually would have messed something up. ]

[that's because she's dumb sometimes. <3 at least she's aware of it.]

That's good, I don't think any of you needed the distractions. What was going on when you got pulled back here, was it the same time I came from?

Frisbees on the beach, right? Everyone was there?

[ God, what a weird experience, comparing notes about if you were at the same place at the same time with the same person. ]

Yeah. That's bizarre, that was more than two months ago for me, but you just experienced it.

[how about that not-first kiss that absolutely happened again while Lea was there, because Isa is nothing if not predictable. >3> ugh, she's missed Lea so much, just being close to her like this. Axel was nice but he's also a dumb boy.]

Like, half an hour ago. Can I just like, opt out of any future time travel?

[ She hates time shenanigans. Also she is not bringing that up ~~yet~~, good fucking luck. Also good luck getting her to stop being close any time soon. She's gonna be like one long house cat just on her lap the entire time. Longcat, if you will. ]

Hey. You could've at least told me Nami got his own body, or Riku's dumb clone.

Nah, you're not that dumb, you might've drawn conclusions about who else could have come back if Nami did.

[that's okay, she can do that. she's already pretty attached herself, with both arms around Lea's waist and her head on Lea's shoulder.]

Tch. Nami's a little different.

[ Okay no, she absolutely would have thought about Roxas immediately, whether she tried to or not. She's just mad that other people knew things she didn't know, okay. She's staring hard at Isa now, and is a huge mix of emotions. She's irritable and sad and relieved and stressed and it's all starting to fade out. That's it, you know: it either fades out fast like this or it blows up and consumes her for a while. She needs to really accept that there's nothing she can do now, but it's hard.

But also she's still adjusting to everything. ]

They don't deserve this place.

No.

[a moment, while she goes through and discards various things she could say that might or might not help, then: ]

I'm sorry you didn't get more time with them. It's not fair.

It's not.

[ But when is her life fair? Haha. ]

... I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.

Be an even bigger mess, probably.

[Isa's waiting for a more complete meltdown to happen at any moment. she can only imagine how Lea feels, but it's almost certainly awful and more crying can really only help at this point.]

Definitely.

[ Nope. We're gonna bottle this up nice and tight and then explode at a minor reminder later. She'll be eating ice cream and it'll all hit her really hard, or something. She's struggling with it now, and trying to tell herself that it's better this way. If she has to come here, so be it. Isa's here, they have each other. ]

Isa?

Yeah?

[here it comes, either tears or makeouts, possibly both. (both would be fine, and understandable.) at least Isa hasn't really been around here enough while everyone was gone to deplete the ice cream supply; they'll need it later, along with hydration.]

[ It's closer to makeouts, unless Isa's responses are incredibly devastating somehow. She does shift her weight so their faces are closer together, and so it's less that she's laying on her and more that she's hugging her, very close and desperately. ]

Thank you. For everything that you did. For me, for Roxas, everyone else. And I'm so— so sorry.

[ Okay so it's not full-on tears, but she is choking up a little as she forces herself through this.]

You're my best friend. I never should've let you go through all of that alone. I think I did this already when you came back—

[ But honestly she was also a mess when Isa came back, and stayed in Radiant Garden to wait until she did. ]

[the proximity and the words are enough to make Isa teary, though she's also smiling a little.]

Even if I hadn't come back it would've been worth it to know you had them back. I should've just left with you, but...

[but it was too late. but despite her hatred, she was still bound to Xehanort through Xemnas. but she didn't think she'd be welcome, at that point. but she'd single-handedly trashed their friendship and burned the bridge Lea left over. but she fucked up and didn't really deserve any of what she's gotten since recompleting. there aren't words to explain the complexity of her emotions right now, and how if anything she should be thanking Lea for helping shape those two kids into the sorts of people who would stand up to Xemnas and Xehanort and help save the universe. there's a slight tremor running through her, almost like a shiver, and she has to squeeze her eyes shut to contain it all, because that's what she does.]

But you were in too deep. I know. I'm glad I have all of you back, and not just them back at your expense. That's too much.

[ She's going to hug her again, tightly, probably with Isa's face crushed into her collar bone or something. Losing her permanently would have been too big a price to pay. She's already done it. ]

[that's the best place for Isa's face to be, since she can't keep the tears contained anymore. there's only a quiet, shaky sniffle, but it's definitely there. it does help to have all that said. she spent the entire time between recompleting and getting sent here secretly wondering if she was intruding by hanging out with the three of them, if they were just tolerating her, etc. not Lea, so much, but the kids, definitely.]

[ What have you done. If it's just her crying Lea can suck it up after a while and act like a dumbass. If Isa's crying too then she's totally gone, inconsolable, there will be no recovery. She doesn't even have anything else she can say, and even if she did she probably wouldn't be able to right now. Maybe they just need to cry together for a while. ]

[that sounds like a solid plan, and fortunately the other thread reminded me that Isa can tell Lea about Xigbar at some point, but first like fifteen minutes of crying on each other. Isa's still a lot more reserved about it but given that this almost certainly also happened with the non-DR Isa, it's cool. it sucks, but it's good for them. so yeah, after a little while, she's mostly cried out, and removes one arm from around Lea long enough to blot her face off with her sleeve, sniffling a bit.]