cinderlea | (no subject)

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[ Riku disappears first. Vanished in her sleep, in the middle of the night, collapsing in on herself in a shimmer of starlights. This isn't like last time. No warnings, no chances to say goodbye, no hesitation or resistance. She just isn't there.

Lea goes minutes after Riku, in the same way. But she's awake, lounging on her couch, having a conversation as she flips through her phone. Here and then gone, like a flame. This isn't the first time either of them have gone home, but it's the first time it's so abrupt. At least it isn't death. The last time Riku went home was seven years ago. She was gone for a month, and she came back with shorter hair and the Mark of Mastery. The last time Lea went home, no one really noticed. She thought she was used to it by now.

Things are different this time. Disorienting. Lea meets Kai in the training, for real this time. Riku has her memories, or at least most of them. They're hazy, dreamlike, but real. She has them all. She remembers how old she really is and how long she's been gone. She remembers everyone she cares about, and everyone that won't change here. She keeps her ice magic and takes what she's learned here to use there. But time is fluid. She doesn't feel like she's been gone for seven years.

Lea's are gone, for now. She lives everything new and fresh, with the dressing room appearing only in dreams vivid enough to unsettle her.

Things aren't the same for every world.

Things go better than expected.

The core story is the same. The heroes rescue the ones that need it, they bring everyone back, they defeat the darkness, and they go home. How and when and who — these things vary, but they do it all together and they go home together. And then their story is over, at least for now, and they come back.

Unlike how they went out, Lea and Riku reappear together on the beach. Coming back is just as disorienting, and neither has their phone, so they get their bearings and confirm memories with each other, of the dressing room and of home, and then separate to find their friends.

They've been gone two months. ]

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[ This is why Lea is her best friend, and not someone else. Who better to call someone on their shit like this? Lea snorts right back at her, and this is more of a skull massage than just shampooing up her hair at this point. ]

You're the only person I know who can still be this tense in a hot bath.

Yeah. That feels good, though.

[at least Isa knows this about herself. she takes a deep breath and lets it out, rolling her shoulders and making an effort to relax. boo, the candy is gone, and the empty mug is getting set on the floor by the tub.]

We need to find a way to make you relax. A hobby, or stealing Serein.

[ Riku would probably be willing to let them have visitations/kidnappings every weekend or so. Should Lea massage her shoulders now too? ]

[that sounds like the ideal way to make the thing happen, so yes. now Isa has nothing to do with her hands except pick at her nails under the water, also, and the distraction will be timely.]

I have a hobby, I give you shit and call you a dork.

And yet, somehow, despite fully devoting yourself, you're still tense. Here, relax.

[ A shoulder massage it is. She has soapy hands and Isa's hair is still full of suds, but, priorities. ]

[well, from Lea's side of things it'll appear that Isa just really took the words to heart, but what actually happened was that on her way to shoulders, Lea slid the flat of her hand across the nape of Isa's neck. Isa goes relatively limp while it's there, but noticeably tenses up even more once Lea's moved on.]

Huh?

[ She jerks her hands away when the tension returns, wondering if she's somehow discovered another injury or scar that Isa hasn't told her about. It's not that farfetched of an idea. ]

[it's not that at all, fortunately, but Lea may not like what it is. it probably isn't helping that Isa's curling up on herself, wrapping her arms around her knees. she turns her head until she can see Lea out of the corner of her eye through her soapy hair, and hesitates a little, trying to decide if she actually wants to share this with Lea or wave it off. finally, quietly: ]

Can you— do that again? Your hand on the back of my neck.

[ Lea stares blankly back at her, head tilted a little so she can see Isa's expression better. Not that it helps. She's always so good at throwing people off. She hesitates too, then gently places her hand on the upper part of Isa's back, what she can reach above the tub, and slides it up the back of her neck until her fingers are in Isa's hair again. ]

[Isa relaxes under the touch again, the tension just sort of melting away from her. she takes a deep breath and lets it out as a shaky sigh, the way someone does when they're trying not to cry. it's partially that she's full of emotions and hormones, but only partially. she's quiet for a few more moments while she struggles to get her shit together.]

I'm sorry, I just— Xemnas used to do that. It always helped ground me after I'd been berserk.

[she just relaxes from it no matter who it is now, apparently. pavlov's dogs, and all that.]

Oh.

[ Listen to that casual tone. "Well, would you look at that." Her hand draws away gently but immediately, ostensibly to grab the shower head so she can rinse Isa's hair free of soap. She's been put on the spot, and has a choice to make about how she reacts to this, and mostly Lea's doing what she always does with a situation of this emotional caliber.

She's stalling. ]

She touched you like that?

[watch Isa clam up and go super tense, her shoulders hunching and her arms wrapping around her knees again. her emotions at the moment aren't ready for a disagreement, and she feels (understandably) quite vulnerable where she is. it's jarring, the disconnect between the spite that bubbles up immediately and how Lea's just carrying on. but it figures, really, that Lea doesn't give a shit about how it's something that makes Isa feel good, and can only see the fact that it came from Xemnas.]

That was the least of how she touched me, but yes.

[this is the wrong thing to say to your friend, but fuck it. it fell out before she could stop it.]

[ Look, Lea loves her friends more than life itself now and would hop in front of a bullet for Isa in a heartbeat, but no one's going to pretend she got where she did by prioritizing someone else's feelings.

It's funny, though. They talk about people who specialize in ice magic, and how when they close off it manifests so readily. People like Vexen and Elsa, who shut down and lower the temperature around them. You don't hear a lot about the pyromancers and the hot heads and how they go down so much faster when you strike at the right angle. Isa can't see Lea's face, can't see the splotchy red over her cheekbones. Jealousy wasn't her path, and she doesn't wear it well, and the temperature of the room is rising a little bit at a time. ]

Oh. So there's more you didn't tell me.

It wasn't anything you needed to know. You were busy with your own relationships anyway.

[that's right, her thing with Xemnas was - to Isa, anyway - on the same level as Axel's friendships with Roxas and Xion. perhaps even more so, considering how much longer it was going on, and certainly easier to explain. Isa can't tell about the temperature, between the bath she's sitting in and the hot flush of anger rising in her too.]

That's not even close to the same thing, and you know it. They were my friends.

[ She's so... mad, and she doesn't even entirely know why she's mad. Not really, not completely, at least. She's so mad it's hard to form words. There's a lot she wants to say, but none of it would help, and most of it would certainly damage what they've managed to get back. ]

I didn't understand what you had with them, and I certainly don't expect you to understand what I had with her. I didn't have anyone else, and for all her sins, she never hurt me.

[this probably just looks like stockholm syndrome from Lea's side of things, huh. also enjoy the implication that Lea hurt Isa, and that it definitely sounds like Isa's siding with Xemnas. she just wants Lea to understand, but neither one of them really knows how to go about making that happen without a fight.]

[ It's a triple combo of comments that really get under her skin, and it's a good thing she's holding a shower head and not... a shampoo bottle, or something else that would melt or burst from sudden intense heat. The plastic shower curtain, on the other hand, is warping on the side closest to Lea. But that did it, really. Just one or two of them would've made her angry, but all three? She's furious, and now she's hurt. There's the shift in her tone, from Lea to Axel all over again. Isa might be the only one who can really do that anymore. ]

She never hurt you. If that's how you see— this, I'd hate to know what you really think of me.

[this is stupid and uncomfortable and Isa hates it, which is why she's turning halfway around in the tub so she can look at Lea.]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. The only times you ever hurt me were when I'd set us both up for it and wanted it to happen so I could feel justified in pushing you further away. She wasn't my friend and I wasn't hers, but... it was a way to blow off steam and feel something besides the numbness.

[there are several other factors behind it, but Lea probably doesn't care about any of them. she does understand why Lea's angry, but her own frustration has already faded. she doesn't want to fight about this, and hopefully that shows in her expression.]

[ Lea... kind of does want to fight about this, because it's absurd and horrible and she kept it from her, all the way up until now. It hurts, and it pisses her off, and she wishes she'd known about it when she'd been face to face with Xemnas in the labyrinth.

But Isa's facing her, and she's calm, and Lea has too look away and breath out. She can't do it. She can't fight Isa if Isa isn't provoking her, and it kind of sucks. The heat stalls, but her face is still red and splotchy and she's too embarrassed to ask what she really wants to. The question is just so stupid. ]

How did that even happen?

[meanwhile Isa doesn't entirely get why it's such a huge thing, it's not like there was an illicit marriage or anything, they were just banging after-hours like you do when you're trying to get on good terms with your boss. ~~she is mistaken, it absolutely started as a way to control her and just turned into more, but shh.~~ what does Lea really want to ask? :eyes:

Isa smiles a little, ruefully.]

I had a crush I didn't know what to do with, and she admittedly took advantage of it.

[ Something stupid. She won't do it. She leans back on the stool, staring very intently at the tile floor. On the upside, she didn't destroy the bath curtain. ]

But she didn't hurt you.

[does it have anything to do with how grateful Lea's going to be at some point that Isa got that experience and knows approximately how to please a lady in bed? also i assure you, whatever Lea's imagining went on is probably incorrect. Isa folds her arms on the edge of the tub and rests her cheek on them.]

Xehanort was the only one who ever hurt me, directly or otherwise. She was the only one who hurt any of us, really. Even in the maze, when Xemnas almost killed you, it was Xehanort puppeting her body. That was all that was powering most of us at that point, either direct control or heavy mental influence.

[ She holds up a hand, not so much to silence her completely but gently, because it really is a request. ]

Stop. I don't want to hear it.

[ But quickly, as an afterthought: ]

...maybe later.

[ Is this compromise? Is she doing it right? She's trying, a little, since she can see now that there's something more important that Isa has only now given her a little glimpse of. ]

[she is! enough so that Isa's expression clears and she stretches up enough to be able to smooch Lea's cheek before turning back around in the tub.]

Thank you. And... I am sorry. We were doing so well, and then I ruined it.

[story of her life tbh.]

[ She seems... pacified, but not back to her full mood. She's too ready to be mad again, but she'll cool off. ]

What'd you ruin?

[ Besides her general image of Isa as someone who didn't bang their former boss and probably Lea's worst enemy, if you get down to it. She pokes her in the back of the head, then turns on the water right over it. Here, this is your punishment. ]

Edited 2019-09-06 02:18 (UTC)