cinderlea | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ Riku disappears first. Vanished in her sleep, in the middle of the night, collapsing in on herself in a shimmer of starlights. This isn't like last time. No warnings, no chances to say goodbye, no hesitation or resistance. She just isn't there.

Lea goes minutes after Riku, in the same way. But she's awake, lounging on her couch, having a conversation as she flips through her phone. Here and then gone, like a flame. This isn't the first time either of them have gone home, but it's the first time it's so abrupt. At least it isn't death. The last time Riku went home was seven years ago. She was gone for a month, and she came back with shorter hair and the Mark of Mastery. The last time Lea went home, no one really noticed. She thought she was used to it by now.

Things are different this time. Disorienting. Lea meets Kai in the training, for real this time. Riku has her memories, or at least most of them. They're hazy, dreamlike, but real. She has them all. She remembers how old she really is and how long she's been gone. She remembers everyone she cares about, and everyone that won't change here. She keeps her ice magic and takes what she's learned here to use there. But time is fluid. She doesn't feel like she's been gone for seven years.

Lea's are gone, for now. She lives everything new and fresh, with the dressing room appearing only in dreams vivid enough to unsettle her.

Things aren't the same for every world.

Things go better than expected.

The core story is the same. The heroes rescue the ones that need it, they bring everyone back, they defeat the darkness, and they go home. How and when and who — these things vary, but they do it all together and they go home together. And then their story is over, at least for now, and they come back.

Unlike how they went out, Lea and Riku reappear together on the beach. Coming back is just as disorienting, and neither has their phone, so they get their bearings and confirm memories with each other, of the dressing room and of home, and then separate to find their friends.

They've been gone two months. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It did seem like she lost hope for a bit, but she bounced back. You and Kai helped her, like you always do.

[Hachibi's thinking about how weird it is that Axel can swap the pronouns so easily when he's talking about this stuff, but Axel just sort of sees the genderswapped versions when he plays, at this point, apart from the ones that are more distinctly different (i.e. the girls in dresses). and Axel can definitely tell she's got lingering feels for Sora, but that seems perfectly reasonable to him.]

[ That makes her smile, unexpectedly and very genuine, before it turns a little sad again in the eyes. She's glad that's universal, at least — Rikus and Kais and Kairis helping their Soras, and more especially that she'd been able to. ]

I wish she'd come home with us.

I know. Maybe she will someday, but at least you do get to see her once in a while. It's not the best, but it's better than nothing, right?

[is it? if he'd been vastly more attached to anyone from his own world, would he be fine with only seeing them every few years, and with them not even knowing he'd been gone? probably not, but he's not a champion at bottling things up like Riku is. she seems mostly okay, though, as okay as could be expected.]

I guess it's better than never seeing her again.

[ Incoming Riku gloom, because she thinks that might be the case now. Unlikely but possible. Maybe Sora will show up for her 50th birthday or something. ]

[noooooo gloom is not allowed here, not when Axel's around.]

Hey, none of that, no pessimism. Tell me about Aqua and the others, I've never really talked to any versions around here. All three of them have a lot to recover from, huh.

It's going to be a long road for everyone, but... yeah. Especially them. I've talked to a couple of them before. We had a ton of Aquas here for a while. Almost like Rikus, or Soras.

[ Very popular in lady-form. ]

What do you want to know?

Mostly I was confused about where Terra was the whole time, since there was the Xehanort in Terra's body, but then actual Terra came out of Guardian, and also it seems like there was a little bit of her in Xemnas as well. It's like the reverse of Sora, almost.

[if that makes any sense to Riku. he's honestly concerned about how one recovers from being scattered apart like that.]

— uh.

[ Riku, who feels the same way about Terra as one might feel about their deeply sympathetic hot older teacher who went through similar traumatic experiences: ]

The... time travel? Guardian—

[ And she feels so guilty for using Guardian so much, even after the events with the Organization. Fuck, even here, against Hachibi, once. ]

Xehanort took Terra's body, and they became the Xehanort that became the Heartless that started everything for me and Sora, and Kai losing his Heart. The Heartless that looked human, the face I took — that was Xehanort. But I think, because their Hearts were linked, Terra's Heart became the Guardian? Trapped, and a weapon, and not really her own. Xemnas was their Nobody.

[ After a second where she's not sure she wants to say this: ]

I think Xemnas is kind of like Nami. Terra's body, and Xehanort's Heart. But maybe some of Terra's influence, too. I don't know. It was a mess. I did talk to her— they just almost had to force me.

[ No one else back home can understand that unwilling body-snatching and Xehanort possession quite as well, and Sora and Kai probably thought it would be good for Riku. Especially since Riku was chosen by Terra way back. ]

[Axel's quiet while he listens, and he tightens the arm he has flung over her when she's finished. he'll remark on the other stuff in a moment, but:]

Did it help?

[ She doesn't answer right away, staring at the corner of the ceiling as she thinks about it, and then nods slowly. ]

Yeah. But when it comes to... getting past it, or healing, I think it would've had more impact on other Rikus. I've had so much time here that I don't need it anymore.

That's good, then. Hopefully it helps the version of you that's there when you're here, if that's how that works. But that makes sense about Terra. Isa told me a lot about Xemnas, and Xehanort, and it sounded like if Xehanort hadn't been influencing people so hard, Xemnas might've been a decent person, as Nobodies go, and mostly because of Terra.

[nevermind that the whole Xehanort mess is basically just a big nesting doll but with people. he only understands it as much as he needs to, which isn't much.]

[ — Riku looks away from the wall to Axel, and kind of looks like she would if he sprouted another head on top of his shoulders. Hachibi's, maybe. ]

Sure, if it had only been Terra's Nobody. I don't think the Xemnas we knew ever had a chance of being a decent person.

[he could be like that guy from men in black 2, it'd be hilarious and/or horrifying.]

Look, I'm not one to defend Xemnas any more than you are but... she was good to Isa. I don't think much of anyone came out of the Organization a good person, but all the really bad shit was Xehanort's doing.

[Ansem SOD was still a dick though, everyone can agree on that.]

[ Honestly it would've been a pretty hilarious Halloween costume or spell. ]

And Xigbar, apparently. That's pretty forgiving, putting it all on Xehanort.

[ She's not buying it. Xemnas did some bad shit to her and Sora personally. It's kind of like trying to talk to her several years ago about Axels. ]

Look, she told me about this one time, right around when shit was going down with Xehanort's Heartless and you and Sora and Kai. Xehanort was so focused on that that she pulled all control from Xemnas, which left her kind of... like she'd been turned off, I guess. Anyway, she thought Isa was Aqua, and then passed out to sleep for like six hours.

[this... doesn't excuse the bad shit she did, but it humanizes her and proves Terra was in there somewhere, and also that Xehanort's hold on things was that vital. Axel knows going on with more examples won't really help, and might even piss Riku off, which is why he's not doing it.]

[ Riku mostly looks uncomfortable as she's listening to this, but then by the end it's just 100% confusion. ]

What?

[which part is confusing her, because Axel's not great at explaining things as it is. he's doing his best, okay. also i'm yanking direct from my prose here.]

What what. Isa said it didn't click for her until she saw Aqua finally, but it makes sense, they have similar coloring. She said she couldn't tell what name Xemnas said, but that she said something about being afraid she'd lost Isa, or Aqua, to the darkness.

[ The part where Xemnas is anything remotely like a normal person. Also Xehanort having that much influence on Xemnas. Huh?? ]

It's just weird to think about.

[ Because honestly fuck Xemnas, even after that display when she died. Riku might be able to feel... a little sympathy, after what happened, in a way, but also no. She knew what she was doing. ]

[so did Isa, even in the first Organization. we're all assholes here, for whatever reason.]

Yeah. The Xemnas on my world was the same, never did any normal human stuff that I ever saw. I was only around him like, four or five times, total. We mostly dealt with Saix, like in most versions of things.

[ I mean, Riku's not arguing any of this— ]

Makes sense. Saïx was at the top right along with her. Uh, him?

[ Any incarnation of male Xehanort people still make her feel very uncomfortable. ]

Unfortunately, yeah. I didn't really know him very well either, except that he was an asshole and I'm glad I never had to fight him for any reason.

[you know, like Saix before we got all the backstory. bastard!Saix. and listen, apart from himself and Kai and their Riku and also Hachibi, everyone else is welcome to be girls, girls are nice to be around unless they're Larxene.]

[ Larxene is unpleasant to be around no matter what. ]

I don't advise fighting any Saïx. Ever.

[ She came real close to fighting hers back home, but she looks disturbed because of an entirely different Saïx. ]

[it's okay, he knows. :( and her secret is safe with him and Hachibi and Red, and anyone else she's told.]

Hey, that one here hasn't been around in years. I hope he fell in a hole and broke both legs and then was eaten by worms.

[ Just Kai and Nami, I think. ]

Arms first, right?

[ Riku that's so dark. ]

Ideally, yeah. Wouldn't that be great, if we'd just had a big pit we could throw all the assholes in?

[he gets the darkness, he's like that too. the few times he and Kai have really genuinely fought were mostly over how vindictive he can be and how revenge doesn't help anyone but boy does it feel good.]